Is it wrong to feel disconnected from Serbia after living abroad so long? Dear Ana, I’ve lived in Australia for 25 years, and sometimes I feel like I no longer understand the country I left. When I visit, people call me ‘foreigner.’ I love Serbia, but I feel like a guest in both worlds. Is this normal?,,
Dear Friend,
First of all, take a deep breath and give yourself a big mental hug. Feeling like a “foreigner” in a country you love — and yet also not quite at home where you’ve built a life — is *completely* normal. You’re living in that tricky in-between space that many expats, immigrants, and long-term travelers know all too well.
Living abroad for 25 years is a huge part of your identity now. You’ve absorbed different customs, ways of thinking, even the rhythm of daily life in Australia. When you return to Serbia, it’s natural that things feel different — and that others might see you as an outsider. They call you ‘foreigner’ because you’ve become a bit of a cultural chameleon, not because you’re not Serbian at heart.
Here’s the good news: feeling like a “guest” in both worlds means your heart has room for two cultures. It’s a gift, even if it feels awkward sometimes.
If you want to feel more connected to Serbia when you visit (or even from afar), here are some practical steps:
- Stay in touch with Serbian culture: Watch Serbian films or TV shows online, listen to Serbian music or podcasts, and read Serbian news websites like Blic or RTS. This keeps your connection alive and helps you stay in the loop.
- Find your community: Many cities have Serbian expat groups or cultural associations. In Australia, check out local Serbian clubs or churches where you can meet people who share your experience. This can ease that “in-between” feeling.
- Plan meaningful visits: Instead of rushing through tourist spots, spend time with family or friends, attend local events, or even volunteer. Engaging deeply helps bridge the gap.
- Embrace your unique identity: You’re a bridge between two cultures. Celebrate that! Share your stories, recipes, or traditions with friends from both Serbia and Australia. You’re creating your own personal “Serb-Aussie” culture, and that’s something to be proud of.
Also, give yourself permission to feel all the feelings — nostalgia, frustration, joy, confusion. It’s okay to miss Serbia and still feel more “at home” in Australia. It doesn’t mean you’re less Serbian or less Australian. You’re simply human.
If the feeling of disconnection ever becomes overwhelming, don’t hesitate to talk to someone — a friend, a counselor, or even a fellow expat who understands the push and pull of living between worlds.
Remember, identity isn’t a fixed box. It’s fluid, like a river that flows through different landscapes. Your heart has been shaped by both Serbia and Australia, and that blend makes you uniquely you.
With warmth and understanding,
Ana
This question was submitted by a reader. Do you have a question or need advice? Send your worries, thoughts, and questions to Ana by e-mail and your question may appear in our next issue.
