Why does my son refuse to speak Serbian with his kids? Dear Ana, I raised my children in the U.S. and tried to keep the language alive, but now my son only speaks English to his own children. I feel like our heritage is fading. What can I do?,,
Dear Reader,
First of all, I hear you—and I feel the sting of watching a cherished language slip away, especially when it’s part of your family’s heart and history. It’s a common struggle for many immigrant families, so you’re not alone. Let’s unpack this gently and figure out some practical ways to keep Serbian alive in your grandchildren’s lives.
Your son’s choice to speak English with his kids likely comes from a place of comfort and practicality. English is their everyday language, the one they use at school and with friends. Sometimes, parents hesitate to add another language because they worry it might confuse the children or slow down their mastery of English. Also, if your son isn’t fully confident in his own Serbian, he might avoid it to sidestep awkwardness or frustration.
So, what can you do? Here are a few warm, doable strategies:
1. Become a Serbian Language Ambassador: Instead of putting pressure on your son, try to be the joyful source of Serbian in your grandchildren’s lives. Speak Serbian with them when you visit or chat on video calls. Make it fun—sing traditional songs, tell folk tales, or cook Serbian dishes together while teaching the names of ingredients in Serbian. Kids love stories and food, and these are natural ways to connect words with experiences.
2. Use Media to Your Advantage: There’s a treasure trove of Serbian-language cartoons, songs, and apps designed for kids. Platforms like YouTube have channels with Serbian children’s content, and apps like “Learn Serbian” can make language learning a game. This way, Serbian becomes part of their playtime, not a chore.
3. Celebrate Serbian Culture Together: Mark Serbian holidays, festivals, or traditions with your grandchildren. Whether it’s Slava, Easter customs, or Serbian Christmas, these moments create emotional ties to the culture—and language often follows naturally. You can find community events in Serbian diaspora centers or cultural associations in the U.S. to join in.
4. Encourage Your Son, Gently: Have a heart-to-heart with your son, focusing on your shared goal—your children’s connection to their roots. Maybe he’d be open to learning more Serbian himself or to speak a few words with his kids. Sometimes, a little encouragement and understanding can open doors. If he’s hesitant, reassure him that language learning can be gradual and that you’re there to help.
5. Connect with Local Serbian Communities: If possible, find Serbian language schools or weekend classes nearby. Many diaspora communities organize group activities or language classes for children. This social setting can motivate your grandchildren to learn Serbian with peers, making it more engaging.
Remember, language is more than words—it’s the heartbeat of culture and identity. Your efforts, no matter how small they seem, plant seeds that can grow over time. Be patient and keep the atmosphere positive. After all, the best way to nurture a language is through love and joy.
If you want specific resources or online groups for Serbian language support in the U.S. or Europe, let me know—I’m happy to point you in the right direction!
Warm wishes,
Ana
This question was submitted by a reader. Do you have a question or need advice? Send your worries, thoughts, and questions to Ana by e-mail and your question may appear in our next issue.
