Should I let my daughter marry a foreigner? Dear Ana, my daughter lives in Canada and wants to marry a Canadian man. He seems kind, but I worry he won’t understand our traditions or faith. Am I being old-fashioned?,,
Dear Worried Mama,
First of all, take a deep breath — your feelings are completely natural. When your daughter marries someone from a different culture, it’s like handing her a colorful, new recipe book. You might worry the flavors won’t blend well, but sometimes those unexpected spices create the best dishes.
Your concerns about traditions and faith are important. They are the roots that shape your family’s identity. But remember, love and respect can build bridges stronger than any cultural differences. It’s not old-fashioned to care about these things—it’s wise.
Here’s a practical way to approach this:
1. **Open Dialogue:** Encourage your daughter and her fiancé to share their traditions and beliefs with you. Maybe set up a relaxed video call where they can explain what their wedding or family life might look like. This shows your interest and helps you understand them better.
2. **Learn Together:** Why not take this as an opportunity to learn about Canadian customs? The Canadian government’s official website (canada.ca) has great resources on multiculturalism. Maybe you’ll discover shared values that make your worries fade.
3. **Share Your Traditions:** Send them your favorite family recipes or invite them to a Zoom dinner where you cook together. Food is a universal language, and sharing traditions this way can be fun and meaningful.
4. **Faith and Values:** If faith is a cornerstone for your family, talk openly about it. Many interfaith couples find ways to honor both traditions. There are support groups and communities in Serbia and abroad (look up “interfaith families support Serbia” or “multicultural family groups Canada”) that offer advice and friendship.
5. **Trust Your Daughter:** Remember, she knows her fiancé well and will navigate this relationship in her own way. Your trust is one of the greatest gifts you can give her.
If you want to keep your connection close, invite them to visit Serbia. Seeing your homeland, meeting relatives, and experiencing your traditions firsthand can build understanding on all sides.
Lastly, a little humor: think of your daughter as a cultural ambassador, and her fiancé as the enthusiastic student. With patience, curiosity, and a sprinkle of love, they’ll create a new family story—one that honors the past while embracing the future.
You’re not old-fashioned; you’re loving and thoughtful. Keep that warm heart open, and you’ll find this journey can bring unexpected joy.
Warmly,
Ana
This question was submitted by a reader. Do you have a question or need advice? Send your worries, thoughts, and questions to Ana by e-mail and your question may appear in our next issue.
