Why do some Serbs abroad act ashamed of their roots? Dear Ana, I’ve met people who hide their background or even change their names. It makes me sad. Why do we do this to ourselves?,,
Dear Reader,
Thank you for your heartfelt question. It’s a topic that touches many of us, whether we live in Serbia or abroad, and it’s perfectly natural to feel a bit puzzled – or even hurt – when you see fellow Serbs concealing their roots.
First, let’s acknowledge the reality: some Serbs abroad do indeed change their names or downplay their background. But why? It’s rarely about shame in the deep, personal sense. Often, it’s about survival and fitting in. When you move to a new country, especially one where you might face stereotypes or misunderstandings about Serbia’s complex history, it can feel easier to “blend in” than to stand out. Imagine being the new kid in school, but instead of just a different haircut, you carry the weight of a whole culture that others might not understand – or worse, might judge unfairly.
There’s also the practical side. Many who emigrated in the 1990s or early 2000s did so during turbulent times: war, economic hardship, political instability. Their priority was to build a new life as quickly and smoothly as possible. Changing a name or hiding a background sometimes helped them find jobs or avoid discrimination. It’s not about denying who they are but protecting themselves and their families.
That said, it’s important to remember that this is not a universal experience. Many Serbs abroad proudly celebrate their heritage, share delicious ćevapi recipes, teach their children Serbian, and gather for Slava celebrations. It can be a balancing act – wanting to fit into a new society while preserving your roots.
If you’re feeling sad about this, here’s a little pep talk: every person’s journey is unique. Instead of seeing it as “doing this to ourselves,” try to see it as a coping mechanism born from difficult circumstances. And if you want to help, you can be a bridge. Celebrate your culture openly and warmly. Invite others to share their stories. Sometimes, all it takes is a little pride and a welcoming smile to inspire someone to embrace their identity more fully.
If you or your friends are abroad and want to connect with others who celebrate Serbian culture, look for Serbian cultural associations, Orthodox churches, or community centers in your area. In the EU, cities like Vienna, Munich, and Brussels have lively Serbian communities organizing events, language classes, and cultural festivals. Engaging with these groups can help build a supportive network where everyone feels proud to be Serbian.
And if you’re feeling brave, why not start a small gathering yourself? A Serbian movie night, a cooking party with sarma and ajvar, or even a mini Slava can create a space where identity is celebrated and shared with joy.
Remember, pride in your roots doesn’t mean ignoring challenges or complexities. It’s about embracing the full story – the struggles, the triumphs, the humor, and the heart. And who knows? Maybe your openness will inspire others to proudly wear their Serbian heritage on their sleeve, no matter where they live.
Warm wishes and lots of ćao,
Ana
This question was submitted by a reader. Do you have a question or need advice? Send your worries, thoughts, and questions to Ana by e-mail and your question may appear in our next issue.
